I'm falling in love with the idea of leaving Hicksville, South Dakota forever.
I want out so badly I could almost give up my high school graduation. I said almost, so don't panic. I know that a lot of people feel the same way, but come on, what made our parents/grandparents decide to settle down here of all places? What makes this their homestead? I just don't get it!
What do we have here that is so magical?
Do they think that it's a good place to raise children? Oh yeah, I just bet that is what they are thinking. Plop your children in the middle of nowhere, where they can become wholesome indivduals with godlike morals... yeah that will be fun, let them group without ever knowing any other races and sexualities then send them off into the real world. Little Billy Joe will fit right in in San Fransico.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I hate you and you don't own me...
You don't own me.
The only reason you treat me the way you do is because you never got a chance to have husband or family of your own, and do you know why? Because you're an egotisical control freak who doesn't have time for anyone but yourself. You say I have bad skin? That my purple highlights are "unnatural"? I don't think you see yourself correctly, you are morbidly obese and you are what, nearly 60 years old with burnt orange hair? Burnt orange is not your natural hair color, "poopsie".
You say that I've got a lot of growing up to do, but I think that it is you who needs to look within yourself for a purpose...you have spent nearly half your life trying desperately to raise your sisters' children and they don't need or want your help. We've all turned out fine, and although I may be disrepectful at least I have one thing you don't and that is a backbone, my will to branch off on my own.
I love you even though you've treated me like shit my entire life, you've poked and humilated me throughout my childhood and now when I've finaly got my chance to escape our demented family you try sucking me back in?
I say that I love you because it would be wrong to hate a blood relative.
I say that I love you because even if you read this you won't remember it the next day.
The only reason you treat me the way you do is because you never got a chance to have husband or family of your own, and do you know why? Because you're an egotisical control freak who doesn't have time for anyone but yourself. You say I have bad skin? That my purple highlights are "unnatural"? I don't think you see yourself correctly, you are morbidly obese and you are what, nearly 60 years old with burnt orange hair? Burnt orange is not your natural hair color, "poopsie".
You say that I've got a lot of growing up to do, but I think that it is you who needs to look within yourself for a purpose...you have spent nearly half your life trying desperately to raise your sisters' children and they don't need or want your help. We've all turned out fine, and although I may be disrepectful at least I have one thing you don't and that is a backbone, my will to branch off on my own.
I love you even though you've treated me like shit my entire life, you've poked and humilated me throughout my childhood and now when I've finaly got my chance to escape our demented family you try sucking me back in?
I say that I love you because it would be wrong to hate a blood relative.
I say that I love you because even if you read this you won't remember it the next day.
Disclaimer:
I honestly don't expect anyone to read this. Why would you, you don't know me, and in no way is my life interesting or unusual...it's just a life, not unlike yours.
I plan on being completely honest and straight forward, without holding anything back, because this is a way for me to cope with what I'm feeling, and what I've been feeling most lately is anger...at everyone around me, with an exception of a few.
I plan on being completely honest and straight forward, without holding anything back, because this is a way for me to cope with what I'm feeling, and what I've been feeling most lately is anger...at everyone around me, with an exception of a few.
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